Letting go all over again
by LetsCallItFate
Summary: He had waited forever for this day. She's even more beautiful than he remembered. In fact, she's perfect.


**A/N Just another short Glee fic. I keep having these little ideas in my head, and thought I'd write it down and share it :) I've just started watching season 2, as it only came out here a couple of weeks ago :) The third episode is tomorrow :) I'm excited, it looks like Puck may actually get more than one line :/ Anyway, review and tell me what you think :) **

Its cold out in New York today, even though its only September. Rachel had brightly exclaimed that winter had come early this morning, before she left for rehearsals bundled up in a puffy coat, with a stripy hat that covered her whole forehead, and a scarf that clashed with the hat. She was twenty five now, but had still managed to retain the dress sense of a toddler. Though really, he didn't give a fuck, because she was sexy as hell anyway.

Today had been a memorable morning for them, because tonight was Rachels opening night in Wicked. It was the role she had dreamed about for her whole life, the role she had chased all the way to New York, and finally she had made it. So even though it was fucking freezing out today, and he was pretty sure it was going to rain later, she had been in such a good mood that she had even obliged his request for a quickie before she left for rehearsals. And made him breakfast. Sometimes he wondered how he had landed a girl as amazing as Rachel Berry.

But now she had gone to the theatre and left him to roam around the city alone. It was a Saturday, and he didn't have to go to work. He had already gone for his morning run, had a long shower and replied to his emails. It had gotten to the stage where he was about to phone Finn and ask him to go on Skype, when he pulled himself together. He was Noah Puckerman, a badass, and he was not going to spend his weekend on the computer watching his friend hold up a gurgling baby that did jack shit to the camera. He had more pride than that.

Instead he was walking around central park alone. It was cold out and it occurred to him that he really ought to have worn more layers, because he was freezing his balls off when he saw her.

"Rach?" He called out, squinting at the woman who had just entered the park and was now walking slightly ahead of him. She didn't turn around when he called her name.

"Rachel?" HE tried again, this time louder. What she was doing? She was meant to be in rehearsals all day, and while he knew that she would be perfect without an extra 10 hours of rehearsing she did not share his optimism. But he'd seen her face and that was definitely Rachel, he would know his own fiancés face.

"Berry." He said, jogging slightly to catch up with her, and finally she turned around.

It wasn't Rachel.

"Shelby?" He asked incredulously, his brow furrowed. She looked just as flustered as he felt, and her cheeks burnt red. Puck automatically wondered how she knew that he was with Rachel, because surely that was why she was embarrassed. But I mean what did she think he was going to do, beat her up? It was only when a little girl came skipping up to her, that he realised.

Beth.

His breath was momentarily taken away from him, and he could feel his heart hammering away in his throat. Because he couldn't take her eyes off of her, she was beautiful. She had his hair, dark, but straight. Quinn's bright blue eyes stared back at him, and her pink bow lips puckered in confusion. Her skin was tanned and creamy, and he could only imagine how soft it was. She looked nothing like he remembered, yet exactly the same. Her little eyebrows crumpled after a few moments, and Shelby remained frozen in fear. None of them moved.

"Mommy?" Beth eventually asked, her voice little more than a whisper, "Why is that man staring at me?" She looked up at Shelby with such adoration in her eyes that Puck nearly threw up right there.

Shelby looked down at her daughter, desperately trying to come up with something to tell her daughter, that wasn't 'Oh honey, he's your dad.'

Eventually she replied, slowly and thoughtfully.

"He's someone I once knew." Puck made a strange strangled sound, and had to refrain from hitting the older woman. He wasn't someone, he was her father. He would have punched her right there if it wasn't wrong to hit a lady. Especially one that looked so much like his fiancé.

"Oh." Satisfied by the answer, Beth turned back to Puck and smiled brightly, her baby teeth uneven, with gaps between some.

"Hello." She reached her tiny hand up to him, "I'm Beth Corcoran and I can sing better than anyone else in the whole world." Wordlessly Puck took her miniature hand in his own paw, and shook it gently, afraid of breaking her.

"Hi Beth," His voice shook slightly, "I'm your..." His eyes, met Shelby's and he saw the pleading look in her eyes, then he looked at Beth and couldn't do it to her, she was still so little, "I'm Puck." He amended.

"Do you want to hear me sing?" Her voice was curious, but Puck could tell that she wanted the praise that would come with a performance.

"Beth." Shelby sounded exasperated with her daughter, and rubbed her temple. She had known taking Beth to New York was a risk, but she hadn't expected to run into Noah Puckerman of all people. In all honestly, she thought he would still be in Lima.

Beth glanced up at her Mom, then turned her attention back to Puck.

"I can sing for you later." Puck nodded mutely.

"Noah." It was the first time Shelby had addressed him, and his head snapped towards her so quickly he thought for a moment he may have given himself whiplash.

"Yeah?" He mumbled, not wanting to take his eyes off his daughter.

"We were just about to go get a drink. Would you like to come?"

Beth's eyes bulged and she nodded eagerly.

"Yeah Puck, please come. My Mommy said I could have a hot chocolate with lots of whippy cream and a cookie." She looked so pleased with herself, that Puck couldn't help but smile.

"Wow." He said, unsure of how to act around his long lost daughter.

Shelby gestured the way they were going with a nod of her head, and Puck and Beth followed.

"I usually don't get a hot chocolate and a cookie, but this weekend's special. " Beth had taken his hand in hers and was now skipping along beside him, "Because we're going to the board way tonight for me to see my first show." She sighed in delight.

"Broadway, honey." Shelby corrected, and Beth rolled her eyes.

"Thats cool. Which show?" Puck asked, his heart still beating so loudly, that he wondered why no one was commenting on it.

"Bad." Beth stated proudly, stopping and looking up at him, waiting for a response.

"Bad?" Puck repeated quizzically. Being with Rachel for so long, he found that he had picked up a pretty in depth knowledge of Broadway, and he had never heard of bad.

"Wicked, baby." Shelby called over her shoulder, and caught Pucks eye for a moment, daring him to realise. She didn't need to. He already knew. He knew why they had come here. Shelby had wanted to see Rachel in her first lead role in a Broadway show. She wanted to prove she was still a good mother to her eldest daughter, even though in truth, she had never been a mother to her.

"Oh, that's it." Beth laughed, and Puck wanted to melt, "Its got someone called Rachel Berry in it, and my Mommy loves her. She had all these pictures of her around the house, and she looks kind of like my Mom!"

Puck sucked in his breath, and wondered what Rachel would think if she could hear that. He thought of all the things he could tell Beth to explain that to her, that Rachel was technically – he blanched slightly – her half sister.

"Do you wanna know a secret Beth?" Puck asked her, leaning down towards her, all too aware of Shelby's eyes on him, he knew too many secrets that could ruin everything. The little girl nodded eagerly, her blue eyes shining in anticipation.

"I'm going to marry Rachel Berry."

Puck looked back up at Shelby, who was staring at him aghast. Clearly she hadn't known about their relationship, or maybe she thought that Rachel was too good for him. Well whatever. He didn't care what she thought. He loved Berry and she loved him back.

"Wow." Her little eyes stared up at him in amazement and he felt a warm sensation in his heart, knowing that he had made his daughter look up at him like that. Because he didn't care what those papers said, or who had raised her, Beth would always be his little girl.

"Rachel's getting married?" Shelby finally spoke, her eyes softer now and he wondered if she was wondering about whether she would have ever found out.

Puck shrugged, reluctant to give away anything to this woman.

"Few months."

He didn't break his gaze with Shelby, until a little hand begun tugging on his shirt. He looked down to find Beth gazing up at him curiously.

"Is she going to wear a princess dress like Cinderella?" Her eyes sparkled as she thought about the Disney princess.

"Course she is, and its going to have little stars all over." He said smiling, even though he had know idea - Rachel wouldn't let him anywhere near her dress, claiming it was bad luck or some shit.

"And a big cake, with all those layers?" He nodded, smiling down at her still.

" And flowers and glitter everywhere?" Knowing Berry, there would be.

"Of course." He exclaimed, loving her little smile. Wide eyed Beth turned towards Shelby and pulled her hand.

"Can I get married Mommy?" She asked, smiling up at her with all the innocence of an eight year old.

Shelby laughed as she caught Pucks eye.

"Ask me again in a few years Baby."

Beth sighed dejectedly and dragged her feet dramatically as she walked along.

"New Yorks so big Mommy, do we have to walk?" She whined, pouting as they continued their walk through the park.

"Baby, we can't exactly get a cab through the park." She laughed slightly as she watched her daughter.

Beth pouted, and for a moment she looked just like Quinn when she didn't get something that she wanted. Puck wanted to video this and send it to Quinn, who he knew missed Beth just as much as he did. They would talk on the phone still every so often and inevitably fall back into their daughter, and how she was doing. She was married now. Living somewhere in the suburbs of California, with her perfect husband. She was living the life she had always been meant too, before he had screwed it up.

"There's a cafe just by this exit." Puck offered, and Shelby smiled gratefully at him, as she half pulled her pouting daughter along beside her.

She was everything he had hoped she would be.

* * *

She had killed it, but what was new? Ever since he had heard her sing that song in Glee that time, he had known that she would get the part; she just needed to have faith. Yet, he found it completely insane that his life had changed so much in the last day, since he had run into Shelby in the park, and yet she was completely oblivious. He hadn't wanted to tell her, in case it threw her off her game or something. Anyway, this was her night, and he didn't want to take away from that. It was just that now he was waiting outside her dressing room, and had to break the news to her that he had cancelled their romantic night out in favour of a family night out. With his daughter. And her mother.

"SO, what did you think?" She's smiling up at him, and she looks all euphoric and shit, and he knows that as soon as he tells her that her 'mother' is waiting for her, that look is going to fall right off her face and disappear into the ground. Usually he wouldn't give two shits about some dinner with Shelby, but this isn't dinner with Shelby, _its dinner with Beth._

"Perfect babe, you were amazing." He kisses her on her lips, and he can still feel her smiling. She pulls away, and instead takes his hand.

"Ready to get out of here?" Her head is tilted as she smiles, and shes clearly wondering why its taking him so long to reply.

"I need to tell you something." He blurts it out quickly and he can feel her inhale sharply. He doesn't blame her really. That never leads to anything good. Usually the things he needs to tell her are "I cant go to your dinner tonight" or "The director called, you didn't get the part" or "I accidently ate all those little yogurt things you told me not to eat."

"Noah?" Her voice is small, and all of a sudden she sounds more like a scared little girl than big Broadway star.

"Beth's here."

Her eye's cloud over with confusion, as she struggles to analyse this new information. He watches her, as it dawns on her how a little girl is in a big city.

"Shelby?" She asks, knowing the answer, but needing him to confirm it.

He nods slowly, holding her hand tight in his. Her eyes meet his, and for once he cant read them.

"I said we'd have dinner." She looks like a deer caught in the headlights, "She came to see you, Rach. She brought Beth."

He slips it in, knowing that as much as she doesn't want to see Shelby, he wants to see his daughter. Because even though she's never said anything, he knows that she's followed him, on those nights when he wakes up after dreaming about his little girl. She watches him as he heads out on the balcony and stays there, as if the cold air will banish thoughts of his daughter from his mind.

Rachel nodded, and while she doesn't smile he can see her show face slip back on.

"Well, we better not leave them waiting." She smiled up at him, and in that moment he falls in love with her all over again.

Shelby is waiting outside, and she looks terrified. Beth meanwhile is somewhere between exhausted and exhilarated, buzzing from the thrill of her first ever Broadway show, but drooping from the late hour. When Shelby sees Rachel her whole face doesn't light up, but her eyes have this look in them. He wonders if that's how he looks when he looks at Beth.

Rachel is clinging to his hand for dear life, as they approach the pair, and he's squeezing hers too.

"Rachel." Shelby moves to greet her daughter, and smiles at her, a big watery smile. Rachel doesn't smile back. Once upon a time all she had wanted was a mother, and when she had found her all those years ago she thought it was a dream come true. But to have her mother reject her, and then find a brand new daughter. She was forgiving – case in point Puck – but that was a bit much even for Rachel.

Rachel nods curtly, and instead looks at Beth, who is half leaning against her mother at this point.

"Hi." She leans down, and smiles brightly, "You must be Beth."

Beth nods shyly and Puck can see it. He can see them as a family. Him, Beth and Rachel. He had never told anyone, but after Shelby had come to visit them at the hospital, he had known what was going to happen. He had begged Quinn to let him keep her, he had promised her he would do right by her, and that if she didn't want anything to do with them, then fine. Just please, don't let her take my baby from me. He had watched Quinn grow over the last few months, learn compassion, but she had looked at him with such disgust, that it was clear she had barely changed. Shelby had taken Beth away the next day.

Months later, when he and Rachel were together he used to think about it. If he had kept Beth, would they be a family? Rachel acting as her mother? Sometimes he would even dream about it, how perfect it could have been. But then he thought about Rachel. Would she have wanted him if he came with a baby? Would she have ever made it to Broadway? He was afraid the answer to both those questions were no.

"You're Rachel Berry." Beth smiles, and looks up at Shelby as if she can barely believe it, Rachel just laughs and nods.

"Puck said you were marrying him, with birds and glitter." She's gushing now, speaking so fast that Rachel can barely understand her, but she just nods and smiles, because this is Beth. Beth, her sister. And technically her future step child. That's weird. After that Beth seems content to just smile up at Rachel, and ask her a billion pointless questions.

Puck is fine with just staring at her, even though he knows its totally creepy, because even though he's spent almost the whole day with her, he knows that this may be the last time he ever see's her.

"Noah?" He looks up at Rachel, who is now holding hands with Beth, and smiles.

"We're going to go to that little restaurant, just round the corner. Remember we went that time, with the..." She blushes as she trails off, and he winks at her.

"Sounds good." He smiles down at Beth, who is looking up at him and smiling.

"Wanna hold my hand?" No-one has asked him that in so long, in fact not since he was like 12 or something.

"Sure kid." He smiles, and Beth grins as she finds herself sandwiched between her two newest friends. Shelby trails behind, wishing she hadn't screwed things up so badly with Rachel.

She's swinging between them, and Rachel and Beth are talking a million miles an hour, and he knows he should say something, but he doesn't want to ruin the moment. He has to focus on breathing, because otherwise he'll start thinking about the time ticking by, and the fact that he can't bear to let her go, not again.

They sit through dinner, and Rachel talks animatedly about the show to Beth, and Noah smiles and adds comments, committing to memory how Beth's face looks when it lights up with laughter. Sometime after dessert is cleared away and coffee is ordered, he feels the weight of his daughter slumped against him, and he realises she's fallen asleep on him. He looks to Rachel for guidance, but finds her in the middle of conversation with Shelby.

So he just sits there, and strokes her hair, watching as her eyelids flutter as she dreams. He still remembers when she was a newborn, and the night after she was born when Quinn was sleeping, he had crept out to the nursery and held Beth in his arms the whole night, knowing that he may never get another night alone with her. He was right.

It feels like minutes, though he knows it's been longer, when Rachel and Shelby are standing up and waiting for their coats. Shelby pays the bill, and they are helped into their coats. He feels a strange tightness in his throat and a dull ache in his chest. He picks her up in his arms, and cradles her too his chest, as they head out into the street. Rachel helps Shelby hail a cab, and before he can blink one had pulled over. Rachel and Shelby hug, and exchange a few words, and then he's walking towards the cab. He gently places her in the backseat and kisses her forehead, mumbling that he loves her. Shelby is looking at him, and he manages to look her in the eye.

"Take care of her." He mumbles, and she nods, tears in her eyes. She gracefully climbs into the cab, and he watches her place Beth's sleeping head in her lap, and push the bangs out of her eyes.

The cab moves away and he feels his heart break all over again.

Rachel is in his arms now, and she's whispering that it's okay and rubbing his arms soothingly. But he doesn't say anything back, because he's terrified that if he opens his mouth, he's going to cry.

And badasses don't cry.


End file.
